Not every dream has a fairytale ending

I was feeling rather optimistic post UKCAT that I would at least get an interview at one of the 5 year courses I applied to.  Sadly I had to focus my choices in London due to family circumstances, which initially I had thought would give me a fighting chance of success, but it turns out not so much. I was rejected from the Uni I thought I had the best chance at (I'm not going to name it I'm afraid) for both the 4 year and the 5 year courses almost immediately.  I have since been rejected from another 4 year course which leaves one 5 year course left, I'm 100% sure that will too be a rejection as ironically that was what I considered my "long shot".  I was disappointed, but not heartbroken.  I think I've realised that medicine wants different things from its students than it did years ago, even only 4 years later the entrance requirements are so ridiculously high now for the UKCAT for certain, if not most, Universities.  I am feeling rather defeated by it all.

I have worked really hard for the last 4 years to get to a point where I have a strong application, I have the first, I have (what I thought was) a pretty good UKCAT score, I have extra curricula awards and achievements, the voluntary work, work experience, yet still it isn't enough.  Those 3 little numbers on the UKCAT mean that someone didn't even read about the rest of it.  I'm a mature student and yes I could apply again, but those 3 little numbers mean that there is a strong possibility I would end up right back here again, having spent another year chasing a dream that deep down I think I know can't happen for me.

I believe I would have had a really enjoyable and successful career and that I would have loved being a doctor so much, but I think perhaps after 2 attempts at the UKCAT which haven't resulted in even an interview or my personal statement even being looked at, that I should call it a day and accept that it isn't meant to be.  I still have my UKCAT books and my GAMSAT books if I change my mind in the new year, but right now…I think that it is the end of my medicine journey.

I'm sorry to those who have been following me for the last few years that my story doesn't have a happier ending.  I'll still update the blog when I've made my final decision in time. Thank you for sharing my experiences with me, I've appreciated everyone's support a great deal. xxx