Firstly, my last blog post had the most views any blog post I have ever written has had before! I have no idea why specifically, but the kindness I have been shown on twitter since deciding not to give up on medicine has been unreal. I feel very blessed to have such support from strangers and virtual friends - so thank you all so much.
My other half is pleased I have decided to keep going with my dream, not least because I will now watch Grey's Anatomy again i'm sure, but because I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I am subsequently so much happier. Even if I don't make it for 2016 entry, I actually have plans in place to keep going until I finally learn how to do well in the UKCAT(!!!). I'm a lot more optimistic about the future and although I know this is going to be a tough year to get back into the medical state of mind in time for the exams, to afford the exams, the a level entrance fees etc whilst still finding time to volunteer, it is totally worth it to feel like me again.
If I don't get to be a doctor in the end then I want to sit back and know I gave it my all for a prolonged period of time! In the meantime I am trying so hard to work on my maths for the QR section as it was my weakest section last time. Overall a couple of things seem different about the UKCAT this time around, but I am giving it a good go, using various prep materials.
This blog was mainly to serve as a thank you for your support and to say that I am making progress in not being stuck in the eternal graduate-not a medic limbo I seem to have found myself in. So, thank you! I will try to keep this updated with my ramblings and let you all know how I'm getting on!
Showing posts with label Changes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Changes. Show all posts
Tuesday, 8 September 2015
Tuesday, 28 January 2014
Trying Again
After feeling so dejected knowing I wouldn't be going to med school in 2014 I didn't think I'd be applying again. But today after considering my options a million times over over the last few months I realised how unhappy I'd be in any other career....so I've decided to try again for 2015 entry. I think I'm going to take both the UKCAT and the GAMSAT and really give it a good go! I have to try else I'm going to regret it, I know I will. I think having moved here and then having to defer my MSc things just haven't quite gone to plan and it sent me off track.
My health hasn't been 100% but I'm having treatment and physical therapy to help get my strength back to tip top condition so I'm really hoping things will improve over the next 6 months. Time to get thinking about more voluntary work and perhaps some more work shadowing in the new area!
Feeling 100% happier and more settled now I know I'm going to give it another go. Also feeling very lucky to have had so many people on twitter message me with their support and advice - I'm so grateful for every single message! Thank you all.
Here we go again.....
My health hasn't been 100% but I'm having treatment and physical therapy to help get my strength back to tip top condition so I'm really hoping things will improve over the next 6 months. Time to get thinking about more voluntary work and perhaps some more work shadowing in the new area!
Feeling 100% happier and more settled now I know I'm going to give it another go. Also feeling very lucky to have had so many people on twitter message me with their support and advice - I'm so grateful for every single message! Thank you all.
Here we go again.....
Monday, 30 December 2013
Not every dream has a fairytale ending
I was feeling rather optimistic post UKCAT that I would at least get an interview at one of the 5 year courses I applied to. Sadly I had to focus my choices in London due to family circumstances, which initially I had thought would give me a fighting chance of success, but it turns out not so much. I was rejected from the Uni I thought I had the best chance at (I'm not going to name it I'm afraid) for both the 4 year and the 5 year courses almost immediately. I have since been rejected from another 4 year course which leaves one 5 year course left, I'm 100% sure that will too be a rejection as ironically that was what I considered my "long shot". I was disappointed, but not heartbroken. I think I've realised that medicine wants different things from its students than it did years ago, even only 4 years later the entrance requirements are so ridiculously high now for the UKCAT for certain, if not most, Universities. I am feeling rather defeated by it all.
I have worked really hard for the last 4 years to get to a point where I have a strong application, I have the first, I have (what I thought was) a pretty good UKCAT score, I have extra curricula awards and achievements, the voluntary work, work experience, yet still it isn't enough. Those 3 little numbers on the UKCAT mean that someone didn't even read about the rest of it. I'm a mature student and yes I could apply again, but those 3 little numbers mean that there is a strong possibility I would end up right back here again, having spent another year chasing a dream that deep down I think I know can't happen for me.
I believe I would have had a really enjoyable and successful career and that I would have loved being a doctor so much, but I think perhaps after 2 attempts at the UKCAT which haven't resulted in even an interview or my personal statement even being looked at, that I should call it a day and accept that it isn't meant to be. I still have my UKCAT books and my GAMSAT books if I change my mind in the new year, but right now…I think that it is the end of my medicine journey.
I'm sorry to those who have been following me for the last few years that my story doesn't have a happier ending. I'll still update the blog when I've made my final decision in time. Thank you for sharing my experiences with me, I've appreciated everyone's support a great deal. xxx
I have worked really hard for the last 4 years to get to a point where I have a strong application, I have the first, I have (what I thought was) a pretty good UKCAT score, I have extra curricula awards and achievements, the voluntary work, work experience, yet still it isn't enough. Those 3 little numbers on the UKCAT mean that someone didn't even read about the rest of it. I'm a mature student and yes I could apply again, but those 3 little numbers mean that there is a strong possibility I would end up right back here again, having spent another year chasing a dream that deep down I think I know can't happen for me.
I believe I would have had a really enjoyable and successful career and that I would have loved being a doctor so much, but I think perhaps after 2 attempts at the UKCAT which haven't resulted in even an interview or my personal statement even being looked at, that I should call it a day and accept that it isn't meant to be. I still have my UKCAT books and my GAMSAT books if I change my mind in the new year, but right now…I think that it is the end of my medicine journey.
I'm sorry to those who have been following me for the last few years that my story doesn't have a happier ending. I'll still update the blog when I've made my final decision in time. Thank you for sharing my experiences with me, I've appreciated everyone's support a great deal. xxx
Wednesday, 14 August 2013
New House!
We made it! We managed to move into the new house and remarkably our furniture is all in one piece. Moving was very stressful and it is only now (5 days later) we've managed to let things calm down and our belongings seem to be finding homes. Our new house is absolutely gorgeous, we're thrilled with it. We met our landlords today and they were lovely too which was a hugh weight off our shoulders. We also had the internet installed today which made a big difference too. We're still waiting for our new sofa to be delivered though, looking forward to that arriving and it feeling even more like home.
Other half and I have enjoyed exploring and we're really loving the area, this was definitely a brilliant move. Now we're just getting everything ready for starting Uni again in September. My other half's place at Uni will turn from conditional to unconditional tomorrow which is brilliant and I've had my enrolment date too which is great. We're going back home to see my family in 3 weeks before we enrol as I've just become and Auntie again which was lovely, I was thrilled that I was able to see him a few times before we moved, but we want to go back a few times before Christmas to get to know him a little more in these early months.
Facetime is currently my new best friend, loving being able to see my family even though I've moved nearly 4 hours away from them. Wish I'd had that when my mum had been alive, she would have loved it! Anyway, a very domestic update from me, I'm going to settle down for the evening and relax with a bar of chocolate. Hope everyone is having a good week!
Other half and I have enjoyed exploring and we're really loving the area, this was definitely a brilliant move. Now we're just getting everything ready for starting Uni again in September. My other half's place at Uni will turn from conditional to unconditional tomorrow which is brilliant and I've had my enrolment date too which is great. We're going back home to see my family in 3 weeks before we enrol as I've just become and Auntie again which was lovely, I was thrilled that I was able to see him a few times before we moved, but we want to go back a few times before Christmas to get to know him a little more in these early months.
Facetime is currently my new best friend, loving being able to see my family even though I've moved nearly 4 hours away from them. Wish I'd had that when my mum had been alive, she would have loved it! Anyway, a very domestic update from me, I'm going to settle down for the evening and relax with a bar of chocolate. Hope everyone is having a good week!
Sunday, 25 November 2012
End of the doctor's surgery?
I was shopping today, browsing through the newspapers when I saw a headline on the front page of the daily express claiming that face to face appointments with GPs are to be abolished, obviously not entirely, but at least vastly reduced. I don't know how much truth there is in this claim, but it did made me think about what the implications would be for the future of primary care physicians in the UK if this was to go ahead. It was implied that they were planning on using skype and other online applications in order to converse with their patients. I don't buy the daily express, so I had a look online when I came home and the daily mail had also run a similar story, it claims that GPs would be using mobile apps in order to view their patients records. This is supposedly going to save the NHS billions of pounds. But what would this mean for medicine, both for patients and for physicians?
My first thought was to consider how I felt as a patient. I'm quite technologically savvy, I use my smart phone how most people who have them do, I have apps for most things the news, social media, journals etc, but how would I feel if I felt the only option I had was for video calls with my GP? I don't like skype as a general rule, I find it slow, hard to hear and it cuts off at times. I have the maximum broadband connection my service provider offers and I have a large computer screen, I'm young(ish) not hearing or sight impaired and yet I'm still not a fan, so how exactly would someone who struggles with technology cope with this proposed change? When some people go to the dr they struggle to get themselves together until towards the end of the consultation when they finally feel comfortable enough to disclose the full extent of their reason for going there, how are they going to feel when they're sitting on skype talking their doctor, not having the face to face interaction, rushed, unimportant and not valued?
I have used NHS direct in the past and almost everytime I've called I've been sent to the out of hours doctor. I imagine that is because the doctor on the end of the phone doesn't know if I'm articulating my symptoms appropriately and wants to check what is wrong with me for him/herself. What if someone calls their doctor on skype complaining that their child appears to have a headache or fever of some description? A lot of people think that the symptom that they have to look out for particularly in meningitis for example is the rash, but what about all the symptoms that come beforehand that a skype conversation may not uncover, if that was indeed the case then I'd imagine that most would agree in saying that it certainly doesn't sound safe, for patients or physicians. I'd like to think that skype would be used for people to call when they want repeat prescriptions extended etc, but it seems like a lot of money to go into the practice just for that; we already have the GP calling you back system rather than going in for a physical appointment if you so wish so is this really necessary if it is unsafe due to the possibility of certain medical conditions being missed?
If you've read this blog then I'm fairly sure by the title alone it is clear I want to be a doctor. How will this proposed change affect the way physician's view their role and their own careers? I think it is fair to say that most didn't go into medicine to sit behind a desk staring at a screen all day, they wanted to make a difference to have face to face contact with their patients and give the very best care that they could, is that possible via the virtual world? How would a doctor feel knowing that their patients were not happy with the new system, wouldn't he/she feel devalued by existing as only a face on a computer screen? What about shared decision making, how much of a decision can be shared when the patient isn't in the same room as the GP?
Although I think it is clear that I'm not a fan of the idea as I can only imagine that in order to save the money stated that physical appointment slots would be cut, there might be a place for it within the existing service. There are many people who have to use up an entire GP slot in order to get their repeat prescription refilled for example, a follow up appointment for medications, people going to the GP about a cold/flu, for these cases it might be beneficial to free up valuable GP slots. However what is the difference in reality between skype and a telephone call which already exists?
The NHS is changing, but for me, as both a patient and hopeful medic, this is a step too far.
My first thought was to consider how I felt as a patient. I'm quite technologically savvy, I use my smart phone how most people who have them do, I have apps for most things the news, social media, journals etc, but how would I feel if I felt the only option I had was for video calls with my GP? I don't like skype as a general rule, I find it slow, hard to hear and it cuts off at times. I have the maximum broadband connection my service provider offers and I have a large computer screen, I'm young(ish) not hearing or sight impaired and yet I'm still not a fan, so how exactly would someone who struggles with technology cope with this proposed change? When some people go to the dr they struggle to get themselves together until towards the end of the consultation when they finally feel comfortable enough to disclose the full extent of their reason for going there, how are they going to feel when they're sitting on skype talking their doctor, not having the face to face interaction, rushed, unimportant and not valued?
I have used NHS direct in the past and almost everytime I've called I've been sent to the out of hours doctor. I imagine that is because the doctor on the end of the phone doesn't know if I'm articulating my symptoms appropriately and wants to check what is wrong with me for him/herself. What if someone calls their doctor on skype complaining that their child appears to have a headache or fever of some description? A lot of people think that the symptom that they have to look out for particularly in meningitis for example is the rash, but what about all the symptoms that come beforehand that a skype conversation may not uncover, if that was indeed the case then I'd imagine that most would agree in saying that it certainly doesn't sound safe, for patients or physicians. I'd like to think that skype would be used for people to call when they want repeat prescriptions extended etc, but it seems like a lot of money to go into the practice just for that; we already have the GP calling you back system rather than going in for a physical appointment if you so wish so is this really necessary if it is unsafe due to the possibility of certain medical conditions being missed?
If you've read this blog then I'm fairly sure by the title alone it is clear I want to be a doctor. How will this proposed change affect the way physician's view their role and their own careers? I think it is fair to say that most didn't go into medicine to sit behind a desk staring at a screen all day, they wanted to make a difference to have face to face contact with their patients and give the very best care that they could, is that possible via the virtual world? How would a doctor feel knowing that their patients were not happy with the new system, wouldn't he/she feel devalued by existing as only a face on a computer screen? What about shared decision making, how much of a decision can be shared when the patient isn't in the same room as the GP?
Although I think it is clear that I'm not a fan of the idea as I can only imagine that in order to save the money stated that physical appointment slots would be cut, there might be a place for it within the existing service. There are many people who have to use up an entire GP slot in order to get their repeat prescription refilled for example, a follow up appointment for medications, people going to the GP about a cold/flu, for these cases it might be beneficial to free up valuable GP slots. However what is the difference in reality between skype and a telephone call which already exists?
The NHS is changing, but for me, as both a patient and hopeful medic, this is a step too far.
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