Not as straightforward as it seemed

If you've been following my blog at all then you'll be aware that I'm not going to medical school next year.  I was pretty annoyed about the UKCAT, but I dealt with that and started looking at Postgraduate plans.  However, what I didn't account for is my friends applying for medicine this year, although I don't think some of them meet the cutoffs for the Universities they've applied for, I'm still finding it pretty tough the idea of them all starting their medicine journeys in 2013 and me being left behind.  This isn't the first time this is happening for me, I chose not to go into medicine straight from school and due to my age I'm now seeing my friends become specialists whereas I'm still trying to get my foot in the door.  I don't regret the path I've taken, I think now is the right time for me to consider medicine and I'm grateful I have other life experience behind me and I think it will stand me in good stead with appreciating just how lucky I would be to have a career in medicine.  I'm not doubting that medicine is a really difficult career, I can tell that just from my work experience placements, but the benefits certainly seem to outweigh the negatives and I think some of my friends who are my age don't appreciate it in the same way I will if I finally get there.

So onto my new plan A, my Masters.  What I didn't factor into the equation is that my other half is also planning on becoming a full time student next year, which sounds great, we've chosen locations which mean that I can apply for medicine the year after etc, but we forgot one key issue....money.  I won't be getting any funding for a taught masters, and nor will I be getting a maintenance loan for the year.  So not only will I be spending the few months applying for masters degrees, selling our house and hopefully finding somewhere really nice to live, we'll also be looking for part time jobs for both of us once we've moved! We hadn't planned on having to work part time whilst we studied and it is very very likely that I'm going to be having my ankle surgery during my summer break after I graduate so I'm really hoping that will be fixed before I start my course and job.  

I've planned for 3 years for what would happen at the end of it, and although my plan A/B is a perfectly good plan B, deep down it wasn't what I was hoping would happen I don't think. I'm sort of sad coming to terms with the whole waiting at least another year to start medicine.  However, I need to tell myself to stop moping and to get on with my uni work and GAMSAT revision ready for March!  I'm reading lots, but it doesn't feel like my "work mode" has truly kicked back in since I messed up the UKCAT!  I'll snap out of it, everyone has to fail something in their life I guess, its just never happened to me before - silly I know.  I just really really want a future in medicine, I won't give up, but I am still sulking a little bit I'm afraid to admit!  

Anyway, I'm going to get on with some uni work and write my personal statement for my MSc application!  Onwards and upwards as they say!

Personal Statement

So as you know I am a mature student.  I've written personal statements before, in fact I used to help my friends write them when we were in 6th form, yet I can't seem to write mine for my medicine application.  I don't understand what is wrong with me, I have written everything out in bullet points, I know what I want to say but it just doesn't feel strong enough!  I have no idea what is missing from it, but I know I need to get it finished by next week to send to my tutor who is going to be writing my reference.  I don't know what is wrong with me, this is the most important thing I'm ever going to write and I can't seem to get it sorted.  

I have work experience all next week and then the GAMSAT next Friday so I really have to get it sorted this weekend, why does this seem so impossible?  I think it is because I've been planning it for over 2 years now that I just want it to be perfect, when truthfully nothing ever is.  I want to study medicine, I'd love to study next year, but I know it is unlikely.  I'll be happy to do my MSc, but I don't want to not get an interview because I've not produced a strong enough Personal Statement!!!  

I can write blog posts with ease, I talk comfortably, I can even write essays with very little difficulty, yet a statement telling admissions tutor why I'm a good candidate to study medicine is really scary! I'm positive I'm not the only one who feels this way, I just know that the competition for places will just be so intense and I want to make my application stand out more than anything!

Anyway, I'm going to go and sit and make some more notes and hope a draft magically appears!