Dissertation work

I'm nearly at the end of my third and final year.  So far my marks have been really high this year, my lowest was just 2 marks off a first, I don't know whether my overall final grade will be, but either way I'm over the moon with how this year has gone.  Its been hard work, but I couldn't have asked for better marks.  I'm in the middle of writing my dissertation, I'm actually really enjoying it (mostly) although I have my days where I would rather be doing almost anything else (as I'm sure most people do), overall I'm finding it really interesting and I definitely picked the right topic.  

Then I have my two final exams.  I'm actually REALLY nervous about these, I haven't finished my dissertation so I'm not dedicating enough time to my revision yet, which is frustrating as there are a lot of topics to cover.  I need to get my head in gear really and have my dissertation finished by the beginning of next month so I can plough head first into my revision. I think I am also overthinking my dissertation a little, perhaps I need to concentrate more on writing words on the page rather than making sure everything I write is absolutely perfect.  This is the largest piece of work I've ever done and I think it is good practice for my MSc, hopefully it will go well and I will get a good mark.  

Other than that I can't really think of anything to report, getting the house ready to sell still, we've planned where we're going to be living and my other half is getting ready to become and Undergraduate at the same uni I'm going to be doing my MSc.  Overall everything is slowly slipping into place (fingers crossed!). 

Hope everything is going well for everyone in their final year (and every other year of course), not long to go now! 

Not as straightforward as it seemed

If you've been following my blog at all then you'll be aware that I'm not going to medical school next year.  I was pretty annoyed about the UKCAT, but I dealt with that and started looking at Postgraduate plans.  However, what I didn't account for is my friends applying for medicine this year, although I don't think some of them meet the cutoffs for the Universities they've applied for, I'm still finding it pretty tough the idea of them all starting their medicine journeys in 2013 and me being left behind.  This isn't the first time this is happening for me, I chose not to go into medicine straight from school and due to my age I'm now seeing my friends become specialists whereas I'm still trying to get my foot in the door.  I don't regret the path I've taken, I think now is the right time for me to consider medicine and I'm grateful I have other life experience behind me and I think it will stand me in good stead with appreciating just how lucky I would be to have a career in medicine.  I'm not doubting that medicine is a really difficult career, I can tell that just from my work experience placements, but the benefits certainly seem to outweigh the negatives and I think some of my friends who are my age don't appreciate it in the same way I will if I finally get there.

So onto my new plan A, my Masters.  What I didn't factor into the equation is that my other half is also planning on becoming a full time student next year, which sounds great, we've chosen locations which mean that I can apply for medicine the year after etc, but we forgot one key issue....money.  I won't be getting any funding for a taught masters, and nor will I be getting a maintenance loan for the year.  So not only will I be spending the few months applying for masters degrees, selling our house and hopefully finding somewhere really nice to live, we'll also be looking for part time jobs for both of us once we've moved! We hadn't planned on having to work part time whilst we studied and it is very very likely that I'm going to be having my ankle surgery during my summer break after I graduate so I'm really hoping that will be fixed before I start my course and job.  

I've planned for 3 years for what would happen at the end of it, and although my plan A/B is a perfectly good plan B, deep down it wasn't what I was hoping would happen I don't think. I'm sort of sad coming to terms with the whole waiting at least another year to start medicine.  However, I need to tell myself to stop moping and to get on with my uni work and GAMSAT revision ready for March!  I'm reading lots, but it doesn't feel like my "work mode" has truly kicked back in since I messed up the UKCAT!  I'll snap out of it, everyone has to fail something in their life I guess, its just never happened to me before - silly I know.  I just really really want a future in medicine, I won't give up, but I am still sulking a little bit I'm afraid to admit!  

Anyway, I'm going to get on with some uni work and write my personal statement for my MSc application!  Onwards and upwards as they say!

Personal Statement

So as you know I am a mature student.  I've written personal statements before, in fact I used to help my friends write them when we were in 6th form, yet I can't seem to write mine for my medicine application.  I don't understand what is wrong with me, I have written everything out in bullet points, I know what I want to say but it just doesn't feel strong enough!  I have no idea what is missing from it, but I know I need to get it finished by next week to send to my tutor who is going to be writing my reference.  I don't know what is wrong with me, this is the most important thing I'm ever going to write and I can't seem to get it sorted.  

I have work experience all next week and then the GAMSAT next Friday so I really have to get it sorted this weekend, why does this seem so impossible?  I think it is because I've been planning it for over 2 years now that I just want it to be perfect, when truthfully nothing ever is.  I want to study medicine, I'd love to study next year, but I know it is unlikely.  I'll be happy to do my MSc, but I don't want to not get an interview because I've not produced a strong enough Personal Statement!!!  

I can write blog posts with ease, I talk comfortably, I can even write essays with very little difficulty, yet a statement telling admissions tutor why I'm a good candidate to study medicine is really scary! I'm positive I'm not the only one who feels this way, I just know that the competition for places will just be so intense and I want to make my application stand out more than anything!

Anyway, I'm going to go and sit and make some more notes and hope a draft magically appears!  

My final year approaches....

Usually after such a long absence I would apologise for being awol.  However, I have to admit that this time it has been a deliberate choice not to blog.  I've been incredibly busy.  As many of you know I had to take my second year exams in the summer as I was poorly during exam period.  I am pleased to report that I passed the year with a high 2:1 so I'm very very excited to be going into my 3rd and final year of my BSc.  I have already started working on my dissertation and I have chosen my supervisor which is great and I'm really looking forward to it.  The modules this year seem really interesting which is always an added bonus, cannot believe however that in just over 8 months time my degree will be over.  

As for my medical school application, I am taking the GAMSAT on the 21st of this month, however due to my exams I have not prepared well for it at all, so depending on how I feel it went on the day will decide whether or not I will be applying to one GAMSAT uni or not.  My UKCAT is booked for the start of October and I'm truly not sure how it will go.  I'm hopeful I'll meet the cutoffs for my preferred unis, if not then I will have to try again next year.  I have found some MSc courses that I really really like the look of, so I shall also be applying for them at the start of next year.  So hopefully next year I will either be starting a postgrad qualification, or graduate entry medicine....time will tell! 

I think I was a little frustrated that things didn't go to plan last year, but to be honest, although it does seem frustrating that I may have to wait yet another year (at least) to go to medical school, my resolve has been strengthened even more!  I KNOW this is what I want to do and my BSc has proved that to me.  Whatever will be will be, and I'm not going to dwell on the outcome of this round of applications too much.  I'm sure if I don't get in this year there will be a few tears, but one thing I've learned about myself is that I'm more than capable of picking myself up and dusting myself off, and making sure my application is even stronger and my UKCAT and GAMSAT marks are even higher.  We'll cross that bridge if we come to it. 

Other than that there is nothing exciting to report, we didn't manage to go on holiday this year, as we're saving in case I have to do a MSc, maybe next year we'll have enough to pop to Europe for a long weekend. We have had some nice day trips though, which is always a bonus!  So yet again, I'm sorry for my absence, I will try to update more regularly, honest! 

Have a nice day everyone. 

Planning

It seems that my life revolves around planning at the moment, booking my UKCAT, planning open days, sorting out my revision schedule for the summer, figuring out my dissertation topic, all requiring lots of planning.  I don't seem to have much time to do anything between volunteering and working towards the summer exams and next year!  I don't mind because I know that it'll (hopefully) be worth it in the end, but it would be nice to have a little bit of "me" time without feeling guilty and thinking that I should be doing something else instead. 

I'm sitting here waiting for my dad to call me so that I can go and pick up something from him, wishing he'd hurry up as I'm wasting time that I should be spending reading for my dissertation so I can send my proposal to my lecturer and have a supervisor assigned to me.  I still can't believe that in September I'll be in my 3rd year, this degree has flown by.  I've really enjoyed it, I wish I hadn't had the health problems I've had with it but I'm pretty proud of myself for being able to continue with it despite them.  

I think today I'm going to meet my dad, finish doing some reading, write a draft proposal, do a spot of note making for my exams and then catch up on some other work. My other half has plans this evening and I'm going too, so I'll probably be shattered by about 9pm, just in time for 24 hours in A and E.  Frustratingly I wake up pretty early most days and I'm shattered pretty early in the evening too, which also makes me feel guilty and feel like I should be working rather than crashed out on the sofa.  

Anyway, my dad has just called and told me he's not meeting me for over an hour so I'm going to get back to my reading.  Hope everyone has at least had the chance to enjoy some of the lovely sunshine we've had, fingers crossed that wasn't our summer.  

GAMSAT Ireland

Initially I had planned to take the GAMSAT twice, I wanted to know what I was heading for before the final attempt in September.  Unfortunately as I've mentioned on here before, life has a funny way of getting in the way of things and after my injuries this year, I'm only just about caught up on my Undergrad stuff in time for exams let alone adding to my stress with GAMSAT revision.  So I didn't take it last weekend. 

A couple of my friends however, did.  They went to Dublin and they took the dreaded exam, and apparently, it was awful.  They said that the humanities side of it wasn't as bad as they thought, but the science side was dreadful. I believe them, I'm sure it was a horrific day but I'm optimistic that it will be ok in Sept. I don't truly know how much prep they did for it.  We've had essays etc due in, and I just don't know how much work they did.  I don't know when they had the time to fit in the amount of prep needed this term, so I'm still hopeful that it won't be a complete disaster in September.  

I'm not sure how it will go for me, but I'm also planning on taking the UKCAT and if I do alright in that I will apply to some GAMSAT and some UKCAT unis.  Still keeping my fingers crossed for a miraculous interview after applications.  I start hospice work soon and I have work experience lined up (only short shadowing), but I also have that exciting project I have spoken about before to talk about in interview, which I've really enjoyed (and I'm looking forward to finishing before my exams start in 11 weeks time fingers crossed!).  So I'm still hopeful, if not MSc here I come.....!