Trying Again

After feeling so dejected knowing I wouldn't be going to med school in 2014 I didn't think I'd be applying again.  But today after considering my options a million times over over the last few months I realised how unhappy I'd be in any other career....so I've decided to try again for 2015 entry.  I think I'm going to take both the UKCAT and the GAMSAT and really give it a good go! I have to try else I'm going to regret it, I know I will.  I think having moved here and then having to defer my MSc things just haven't quite gone to plan and it sent me off track.  

My health hasn't been 100% but I'm having treatment and physical therapy to help get my strength back to tip top condition so I'm really hoping things will improve over the next 6 months.  Time to get thinking about more voluntary work and perhaps some more work shadowing in the new area! 

Feeling 100% happier and more settled now I know I'm going to give it another go.  Also feeling very lucky to have had so many people on twitter message me with their support and advice - I'm so grateful for every single message!  Thank you all.  

Here we go again.....

Not every dream has a fairytale ending

I was feeling rather optimistic post UKCAT that I would at least get an interview at one of the 5 year courses I applied to.  Sadly I had to focus my choices in London due to family circumstances, which initially I had thought would give me a fighting chance of success, but it turns out not so much. I was rejected from the Uni I thought I had the best chance at (I'm not going to name it I'm afraid) for both the 4 year and the 5 year courses almost immediately.  I have since been rejected from another 4 year course which leaves one 5 year course left, I'm 100% sure that will too be a rejection as ironically that was what I considered my "long shot".  I was disappointed, but not heartbroken.  I think I've realised that medicine wants different things from its students than it did years ago, even only 4 years later the entrance requirements are so ridiculously high now for the UKCAT for certain, if not most, Universities.  I am feeling rather defeated by it all.

I have worked really hard for the last 4 years to get to a point where I have a strong application, I have the first, I have (what I thought was) a pretty good UKCAT score, I have extra curricula awards and achievements, the voluntary work, work experience, yet still it isn't enough.  Those 3 little numbers on the UKCAT mean that someone didn't even read about the rest of it.  I'm a mature student and yes I could apply again, but those 3 little numbers mean that there is a strong possibility I would end up right back here again, having spent another year chasing a dream that deep down I think I know can't happen for me.

I believe I would have had a really enjoyable and successful career and that I would have loved being a doctor so much, but I think perhaps after 2 attempts at the UKCAT which haven't resulted in even an interview or my personal statement even being looked at, that I should call it a day and accept that it isn't meant to be.  I still have my UKCAT books and my GAMSAT books if I change my mind in the new year, but right now…I think that it is the end of my medicine journey.

I'm sorry to those who have been following me for the last few years that my story doesn't have a happier ending.  I'll still update the blog when I've made my final decision in time. Thank you for sharing my experiences with me, I've appreciated everyone's support a great deal. xxx

UKCAT

So after not being well for the GAMSAT (again!) I was starting to lose hope of being able to apply for med school this year, but I decided to bite the bullet and take the UKCAT this week.

I was so scared, I literally was feeling petrified! Had to take two trains to get there and then walk for about 20 mins to find the centre, when I got there it wasn't open as they were closed for lunch so I spent ages praying I was in the right place surrounded by people who were incredibly calm waiting to go for their driving theory tests. So after getting all signed in I sat down and took a few deep breaths for a moment and then started the test!  I found the VR section rather stressful and the QR section incredibly stressful, in fact I didn't manage to put anything at all for the last question as I ran out of time and had to guess about 10 questions as I just wasn't quick enough!  Abstract reasoning started to make me feel slightly better about it all as to be honest after QR I was starting to feel a little hopeless, and DA went really well.  The SJT was completely fine and about 30 questions from the end of the section I started to really look forward to the whole thing being over...and then panicked that I wouldn't have done very well in it.

I finally finished and went to collect my stuff from the locker whilst waiting for the results. My heart was pounding and I was over the moon when I saw I had 710 overall and SJT band 1!

I was thrilled as I genuinely was just praying for 650 so as you can imagine I feel very very lucky.  Now comes the hard part....choosing where to apply and writing my personal statement (I didn't want to start it before I took the UKCAT as I felt as if I was jinxing myself).  So here we go....fingers crossed my luck continues!

Been here a month already!

So time really does fly!  We've been here a month already, we're still absolutely in love with it all, sofa arrived and we have new bookcases being delivered in the morning (after a 3 week wait grr!).  It really feels like home now and we can't believe we didn't move years ago! 

So what have I been up to?  Mainly trying to figure out the UKCAT, I'm not too bad at it, but unfortunately I'm just not quite speedy enough which is very frustrating but I'm a lot calmer about it than last year.  I'm concerned that its going to be the QR and AR which will be my stumbling blocks, but I'm trying to get my head around them!  Time will tell.  

  I'm taking the GAMSAT next week, however I haven't prepared enough for section 3 for it to be a successful attempt, I'm hoping it will give me a good idea of where I'm lacking in knowledge ready for March though (for 2015 entry if I'm unsuccessful this year).  Just started redrafting my personal statement too which shouldn't take too long at least.  

I'll be happy once my GAMSAT is over and my UKCAT the following week too!  I'm rather dreading them both if I'm honest, I don't have a lot of confidence in them but we shall see!  In the interim, I'm trying to enjoy what is left of the summer, I have a feeling the next 12 months are going to be very busy indeed! 

Result: First Class Honours

I thought I should announce that after 3 years of hard work, I have the best result I could have possibly hoped for - First Class Honours.  To say that I am over the moon would be an understatement.  I'm absolutely thrilled.  

My final exam was also a first which means that my lowest mark for all of my third year was 2 marks off a first, the rest were all firsts! I never imagined it would go as well as it did and I feel really enthused and excited about moving onto my MSc in September (which has also since been confirmed as unconditional).  I have my voluntary work in the new location lined up ready to start in the summer.  The house is on the market, all in all everything is slowly slipping into place.  I feel very lucky indeed. 

Graduation is soon, followed by the graduation ball which I'm really looking forward to and then a summer of UKCAT, GAMSAT awaits! As well as moving etc too. 

Sorry this is short and sweet, but I wanted to share my good news with those who have been kind enough to read my blog over the last three years! Onto the next chapter of it.

Final Results Pending

Don't ask me how I did it, in honesty I have no idea, but I had a first for my dissertation and one of my final exams.  In fact I've only had 30 2:1 credits all year, the rest have all been firsts! I'm over the moon, I still don't know what my final exam result will be, but even if I don't get a first overall my lowest possible mark is a very high 2:1!  I feel very lucky after having such a stressful year last year to have had such a wonderful year so I'm over the moon.  I've really enjoyed the year and I'm actually really sad that my Undergraduate degree is over, I'm going to miss my friends but we're going to all be relatively close to each other.  Some are going on to do masters like I am, others have jobs lined up.  I'm now getting ready to start looking at the UKCAT, GAMSAT and BMAT. 

I'm hoping that this year I will get high enough marks in those exams to be competitive, if not then I will be taking a year out and reapplying next year!  I'm going to keep trying!  I'm hoping that eventually I will get there in the end.  Although I didn't put an application in last year I'm considering applying for at least one 5 year course to try and increase my chances....we shall see though.  
The house is on the market (yay!) so the wheels are firmly in motion for our big move.  My other half is also starting uni in September which will be very exciting.  I'm encouraged by my success in my BSc and looking forward to the MSc more and more each day.  Just waiting for my confirmation of my 2:1 (or above!). 

I'm a little nervous about my result for my final exam, although I'm not terribly good at guessing my results, this exam was quite a beast! I suppose it is good practice for the GAMSAT though.  I'm trying to decide how I'm going to tackle the revision for that, currently just considering what topics I need to go over.  I'm only going to be applying for one GAMSAT uni probably as I don't like the thought of putting several choices down when I don't already have the results in case I'm just wasting choices as I don't know the score.  

Anyway, enough rambling on.  I'm off to watch 24 hours in A and E on catch up! Thanks for reading :). 

Not as straightforward as it seemed

If you've been following my blog at all then you'll be aware that I'm not going to medical school next year.  I was pretty annoyed about the UKCAT, but I dealt with that and started looking at Postgraduate plans.  However, what I didn't account for is my friends applying for medicine this year, although I don't think some of them meet the cutoffs for the Universities they've applied for, I'm still finding it pretty tough the idea of them all starting their medicine journeys in 2013 and me being left behind.  This isn't the first time this is happening for me, I chose not to go into medicine straight from school and due to my age I'm now seeing my friends become specialists whereas I'm still trying to get my foot in the door.  I don't regret the path I've taken, I think now is the right time for me to consider medicine and I'm grateful I have other life experience behind me and I think it will stand me in good stead with appreciating just how lucky I would be to have a career in medicine.  I'm not doubting that medicine is a really difficult career, I can tell that just from my work experience placements, but the benefits certainly seem to outweigh the negatives and I think some of my friends who are my age don't appreciate it in the same way I will if I finally get there.

So onto my new plan A, my Masters.  What I didn't factor into the equation is that my other half is also planning on becoming a full time student next year, which sounds great, we've chosen locations which mean that I can apply for medicine the year after etc, but we forgot one key issue....money.  I won't be getting any funding for a taught masters, and nor will I be getting a maintenance loan for the year.  So not only will I be spending the few months applying for masters degrees, selling our house and hopefully finding somewhere really nice to live, we'll also be looking for part time jobs for both of us once we've moved! We hadn't planned on having to work part time whilst we studied and it is very very likely that I'm going to be having my ankle surgery during my summer break after I graduate so I'm really hoping that will be fixed before I start my course and job.  

I've planned for 3 years for what would happen at the end of it, and although my plan A/B is a perfectly good plan B, deep down it wasn't what I was hoping would happen I don't think. I'm sort of sad coming to terms with the whole waiting at least another year to start medicine.  However, I need to tell myself to stop moping and to get on with my uni work and GAMSAT revision ready for March!  I'm reading lots, but it doesn't feel like my "work mode" has truly kicked back in since I messed up the UKCAT!  I'll snap out of it, everyone has to fail something in their life I guess, its just never happened to me before - silly I know.  I just really really want a future in medicine, I won't give up, but I am still sulking a little bit I'm afraid to admit!  

Anyway, I'm going to get on with some uni work and write my personal statement for my MSc application!  Onwards and upwards as they say!

Enter Plan B

So this month didn't go to plan at all.  As you all know I was due to take the dreaded GAMSAT. I knew it wouldn't go well, I was incredibly unprepared and it was always going to just be a trial run.  However, the morning of the exam I woke up at about 4:00am sneezing my head off. Constantly.  Until about 6:30am when I got up, had a bath, got ready to leave, when suddenly I realised that I was being a little silly.  Not only was I feeling like death warmed up (I'm really really not a fan of colds!), my throat felt like I was swallowing razorblades, but I STILL couldn't stop sneezing. I'd taken piriton, tried hot lemon water, but nothing was working, but I realised that if I went and sneezed my way through the entire day, I would distract everyone else in the room, the people who were not there for a trial run, would be utterly aggravated by my incessant AAAACHOOOing.  I didn't want to ruin anyone else's chances of getting a med school place by being a distraction, so I went back to bed for the day.  Plus I told myself, I was only going to put George's down if I felt the day went well (which I was almost 100% sure it would not) plus I still had my UKCAT to do, excellent, right decision.

My UKCAT was a couple of days ago. I was quietly confident, I had been getting high marks in all sections aside from QR which was a touch on the low side in all of the mock questions I was answering from books and a website I subscribed to.  More importantly I completed the UKCAT mocks and they went really well, in fact in DA I was only 2 questions off 100%.  When I sat down in the actual test and started doing the VR questions I was pleased that they felt significantly easier than the practice questions I had completed, and although I was concerned that my QR may have dragged my average down a touch, I was quite calm throughout.  When I got my results however, they shocked me, I was no where near the cutoffs for any of the Unis I wanted to apply to. I smiled at the lady at reception, put on my coat, and left quickly.  I was still ok, no tears, until I spoke to my other half (who was tremendously supportive) and realised that my medicine dream was over for this year at least.  What is even more ridiculous is that DA was my lowest score, QR my highest?!  I have absolutely no idea how the UKCAT is marked, I truly can't even begin to understand it if they really believed QR was my highest section, but they seemed to! 

I was pretty angry with myself for the rest of the day, kept forgetting and then remembering and I felt horrible messaging my dad to tell him I'd messed up (even though he was very sympathetic). But after lunch with one of my best friends at Uni, I realised that my plan B was a pretty fantastic one, I now get to choose a Masters at a new Uni and do something really interesting for a year whilst increasing my medicine application portfolio.  So I've spent the last couple of days researching exactly what kind of thing I want to do an MSc in and I'm sorting out referees etc.  I now actually feel quite excited. It does come in waves however, one minute I'm really excited the next I feel a tad sad, but I believe there is a reason for everything! 

Bring on Plan B....its the new Plan A now folks! 

Personal Statement

So as you know I am a mature student.  I've written personal statements before, in fact I used to help my friends write them when we were in 6th form, yet I can't seem to write mine for my medicine application.  I don't understand what is wrong with me, I have written everything out in bullet points, I know what I want to say but it just doesn't feel strong enough!  I have no idea what is missing from it, but I know I need to get it finished by next week to send to my tutor who is going to be writing my reference.  I don't know what is wrong with me, this is the most important thing I'm ever going to write and I can't seem to get it sorted.  

I have work experience all next week and then the GAMSAT next Friday so I really have to get it sorted this weekend, why does this seem so impossible?  I think it is because I've been planning it for over 2 years now that I just want it to be perfect, when truthfully nothing ever is.  I want to study medicine, I'd love to study next year, but I know it is unlikely.  I'll be happy to do my MSc, but I don't want to not get an interview because I've not produced a strong enough Personal Statement!!!  

I can write blog posts with ease, I talk comfortably, I can even write essays with very little difficulty, yet a statement telling admissions tutor why I'm a good candidate to study medicine is really scary! I'm positive I'm not the only one who feels this way, I just know that the competition for places will just be so intense and I want to make my application stand out more than anything!

Anyway, I'm going to go and sit and make some more notes and hope a draft magically appears!  

My final year approaches....

Usually after such a long absence I would apologise for being awol.  However, I have to admit that this time it has been a deliberate choice not to blog.  I've been incredibly busy.  As many of you know I had to take my second year exams in the summer as I was poorly during exam period.  I am pleased to report that I passed the year with a high 2:1 so I'm very very excited to be going into my 3rd and final year of my BSc.  I have already started working on my dissertation and I have chosen my supervisor which is great and I'm really looking forward to it.  The modules this year seem really interesting which is always an added bonus, cannot believe however that in just over 8 months time my degree will be over.  

As for my medical school application, I am taking the GAMSAT on the 21st of this month, however due to my exams I have not prepared well for it at all, so depending on how I feel it went on the day will decide whether or not I will be applying to one GAMSAT uni or not.  My UKCAT is booked for the start of October and I'm truly not sure how it will go.  I'm hopeful I'll meet the cutoffs for my preferred unis, if not then I will have to try again next year.  I have found some MSc courses that I really really like the look of, so I shall also be applying for them at the start of next year.  So hopefully next year I will either be starting a postgrad qualification, or graduate entry medicine....time will tell! 

I think I was a little frustrated that things didn't go to plan last year, but to be honest, although it does seem frustrating that I may have to wait yet another year (at least) to go to medical school, my resolve has been strengthened even more!  I KNOW this is what I want to do and my BSc has proved that to me.  Whatever will be will be, and I'm not going to dwell on the outcome of this round of applications too much.  I'm sure if I don't get in this year there will be a few tears, but one thing I've learned about myself is that I'm more than capable of picking myself up and dusting myself off, and making sure my application is even stronger and my UKCAT and GAMSAT marks are even higher.  We'll cross that bridge if we come to it. 

Other than that there is nothing exciting to report, we didn't manage to go on holiday this year, as we're saving in case I have to do a MSc, maybe next year we'll have enough to pop to Europe for a long weekend. We have had some nice day trips though, which is always a bonus!  So yet again, I'm sorry for my absence, I will try to update more regularly, honest! 

Have a nice day everyone. 

Planning

It seems that my life revolves around planning at the moment, booking my UKCAT, planning open days, sorting out my revision schedule for the summer, figuring out my dissertation topic, all requiring lots of planning.  I don't seem to have much time to do anything between volunteering and working towards the summer exams and next year!  I don't mind because I know that it'll (hopefully) be worth it in the end, but it would be nice to have a little bit of "me" time without feeling guilty and thinking that I should be doing something else instead. 

I'm sitting here waiting for my dad to call me so that I can go and pick up something from him, wishing he'd hurry up as I'm wasting time that I should be spending reading for my dissertation so I can send my proposal to my lecturer and have a supervisor assigned to me.  I still can't believe that in September I'll be in my 3rd year, this degree has flown by.  I've really enjoyed it, I wish I hadn't had the health problems I've had with it but I'm pretty proud of myself for being able to continue with it despite them.  

I think today I'm going to meet my dad, finish doing some reading, write a draft proposal, do a spot of note making for my exams and then catch up on some other work. My other half has plans this evening and I'm going too, so I'll probably be shattered by about 9pm, just in time for 24 hours in A and E.  Frustratingly I wake up pretty early most days and I'm shattered pretty early in the evening too, which also makes me feel guilty and feel like I should be working rather than crashed out on the sofa.  

Anyway, my dad has just called and told me he's not meeting me for over an hour so I'm going to get back to my reading.  Hope everyone has at least had the chance to enjoy some of the lovely sunshine we've had, fingers crossed that wasn't our summer.  

Open Days

Open day season is almost upon us and as I have signed up for pretty much all of the open days I want to go on it has dawned on me just how real this is.  I want to go to medical school in 2013, I think I'm probably one of thousands who do to be honest but I'll be happy to wait another year if I have to.  But I will be spending the summer going to open days, studying for the GAMSAT and UKCAT (and possibly BMAT) and writing my UCAS form, regardless of the outcome, the application stage starts here.  It seems like yesterday I was getting ready to start the first week of my BSc, yet here I am, my second year is almost over and I'm going to be a third year (results pending).  

I still can't choose which Universities I'm going to apply to (as you can tell by the volume of exams I'm considering taking).  But I have to be honest I'm having a lot of fun choosing between them.  At first I found I was getting frustrated by it, and I'm not going to lie - I would prefer it if the UCAS form had 8 options instead of 4...but I'm really enjoying learning about all of the different courses that are on offer.  I'm slightly concerned that I'm going to pick the wrong uni, choose 4 medical schools that won't like my application/won't like me at interview, but I've come to the conclusion that it is just one of those things.  I'm not going to pick unis that simply have the largest intake number, I'm going to pick schools that I really think I will love, located somewhere where we'll enjoy living.  We're really really lucky here in the UK, there are so many fantastic courses to choose from.  Reading people's blogs, posts on twitter and on various forums, I think there will be lots of competition this year for places.  All I can do is give it my very best shot and hope one of my choices wants to offer me a place! 

Fingers crossed....

Stress...essay...revision....stress....revision....

Sorry I've been AWOL.  I had an essay to finish last week which was handed in on Monday (not the best essay I've ever done but probably not the worst either).  I have also been frantically going through all my lecture notes and making revision notes as my first exam is in 15 days....15 DAYS!!!!  I found out I had a 2:1 for my lab report which is great as it is worth 50% of the module, so I'm pleased with that.  

So, 2 months of hell starts here really, I have 2 weeks until my first exam, and then 4 weeks of exams, followed by another 2 weeks (I think) off for revision before one more final exam for the year.  I have to do an assessment in the summer as I had to miss it earlier in the year, and after that (resits pending obviously) I'm finished.  Then it will be a long summer of GAMSAT revision (oh my dear god I have no idea how to begin), volunteering and dissertation reading (I'm at the point when I'm thinking of my dissertation already, oh my goodness!!!!) I'll be a 3rd year....already....this degree has flown by! 

I've loved this degree, and I'm sure that if I end up doing postgraduate I'll love it too, but I can't help but hope and wish that I'll get into GEM for 2013.  I know I'm one of the thousands who have the same dream, I'm just hopeful I'll get an interview.  Anyway, enough wishing, time to relax for the evening as I'm absolutely shattered.  Think I'm going to watch some trashy TV with my other half and then off to bed nice and early. 

 

Medical School Panic

So, in one month I'll be finishing my 2nd year.  Excellent and I'm finally healthy enough and my ankle seems stable enough (touch wood!) to begin my volunteering, which is amazing.  I also have the shadowing sorted for the summer, alongside the project I've been working on which has been amazing, but I can't help feeling my application isn't going to be strong enough for this year.  I did a practice UKCAT test yesterday for the first time (I didn't even know what was involved) and it was ok I suppose for a first attempt, aside from the numerical section which was absolutely appalling, which does not bode well for me at all.  I really didn't want to rely on the GAMSAT too much as it is such a beast I wanted 2 UKCAT Unis and 2 GAMSAT Unis and now I'm worried that I'm going to have to go for 4 GAMSAT unis.  

I have absolutely no idea how this is all going to pan out, I had everything planned to the nth degree and then I messed it all up by getting injured.  Completely my fault, but it isn't going to make me feel great when I have to take yet another year to apply again if I don't get in this time.  I'm a mature student (I'm still the right side of 30 but still!) and I just feel frustrated. I'm seeing on forums that people who are quite honestly fantastic candidates getting rejected from all 4 choices, even with high scores, high academic grades etc. 

If people who are:
a) Younger than me
b) Have better academic credentials than me
c) Have higher GAMSAT/UKCAT scores than I can ever hope for
d) Have more voluntary work experience than me
Aren't getting offers, what am I supposed to do?  I just hope that I get one offer, I don't mind where, I really truly don't, I'll be happy with any of the 6 places I want to apply to (I haven't narrowed it down yet, open day season is upon us!) were kind enough to offer me a place I'd be over the moon.  I can't quite get my head around people being offered places and then saying that they're not sure they're going to take them as it wasn't their "first choice"... *DON'T APPLY TO A UNI UNLESS YOU'RE HAPPY TO TAKE THE PLACE*. 

Anyway, I'm going to stop ranting, just having a moment of complete and utter blind panic! I'm going to go and revise, because one thing is for sure, I'm not going anywhere unless I pass my degree!  Thanks for reading.  

GAMSAT Ireland

Initially I had planned to take the GAMSAT twice, I wanted to know what I was heading for before the final attempt in September.  Unfortunately as I've mentioned on here before, life has a funny way of getting in the way of things and after my injuries this year, I'm only just about caught up on my Undergrad stuff in time for exams let alone adding to my stress with GAMSAT revision.  So I didn't take it last weekend. 

A couple of my friends however, did.  They went to Dublin and they took the dreaded exam, and apparently, it was awful.  They said that the humanities side of it wasn't as bad as they thought, but the science side was dreadful. I believe them, I'm sure it was a horrific day but I'm optimistic that it will be ok in Sept. I don't truly know how much prep they did for it.  We've had essays etc due in, and I just don't know how much work they did.  I don't know when they had the time to fit in the amount of prep needed this term, so I'm still hopeful that it won't be a complete disaster in September.  

I'm not sure how it will go for me, but I'm also planning on taking the UKCAT and if I do alright in that I will apply to some GAMSAT and some UKCAT unis.  Still keeping my fingers crossed for a miraculous interview after applications.  I start hospice work soon and I have work experience lined up (only short shadowing), but I also have that exciting project I have spoken about before to talk about in interview, which I've really enjoyed (and I'm looking forward to finishing before my exams start in 11 weeks time fingers crossed!).  So I'm still hopeful, if not MSc here I come.....! 

Exams are looming

So, we're reaching the end of March, at the end of May the bulk of my exams will be over, with only one left to sit at the end of June and one presentation which had to be delayed from earlier in the year due to my poor health.  I have less than two months to go and I still have written work to complete including a lab report and an essay.  I am starting to get stressed as there are a lot of topics to cover.  Even more worryingly, this will mark the end of my 2nd year. 

When I return in October I will have completed my personal statement, ready to send off my UCAS form, I will have been to all of the open days I want to go to, chosen my prospective medical schools, I will have taken my GAMSAT and UKCAT exams and I will be INCREDIBLY nervous in case I don't get any interviews at all.  In half a year I will be keeping my fingers crossed to achieve all of the things I want, yet right now it seems so close and yet so far away.  

I'm so excited about my 3rd year, looking forward to my dissertation, getting the GAMSAT out of the way, and hopefully getting a relatively good mark (eesh!) and doing my work experience over the summer alongside my voluntary work!  

But first, my lab report and revision timetables!