Thank you for your support

Firstly, my last blog post had the most views any blog post I have ever written has had before! I have no idea why specifically, but the kindness I have been shown on twitter since deciding not to give up on medicine has been unreal. I feel very blessed to have such support from strangers and virtual friends - so thank you all so much. 

My other half is pleased I have decided to keep going with my dream, not least because I will now watch Grey's Anatomy again i'm sure, but because I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I am subsequently so much happier. Even if I don't make it for 2016 entry, I actually have plans in place to keep going until I finally learn how to do well in the UKCAT(!!!). I'm a lot more optimistic about the future and although I know this is going to be a tough year to get back into the medical state of mind in time for the exams, to afford the exams, the a level entrance fees etc whilst still finding time to volunteer, it is totally worth it to feel like me again. 

If I don't get to be a doctor in the end then I want to sit back and know I gave it my all for a prolonged period of time! In the meantime I am trying so hard to work on my maths for the QR section as it was my weakest section last time. Overall a couple of things seem different about the UKCAT this time around, but I am giving it a good go, using various prep materials. 

This blog was mainly to serve as a thank you for your support and to say that I am making progress in not being stuck in the eternal graduate-not a medic limbo I seem to have found myself in. So, thank you! I will try to keep this updated with my ramblings and let you all know how I'm getting on! 

Trying Again

After feeling so dejected knowing I wouldn't be going to med school in 2014 I didn't think I'd be applying again.  But today after considering my options a million times over over the last few months I realised how unhappy I'd be in any other career....so I've decided to try again for 2015 entry.  I think I'm going to take both the UKCAT and the GAMSAT and really give it a good go! I have to try else I'm going to regret it, I know I will.  I think having moved here and then having to defer my MSc things just haven't quite gone to plan and it sent me off track.  

My health hasn't been 100% but I'm having treatment and physical therapy to help get my strength back to tip top condition so I'm really hoping things will improve over the next 6 months.  Time to get thinking about more voluntary work and perhaps some more work shadowing in the new area! 

Feeling 100% happier and more settled now I know I'm going to give it another go.  Also feeling very lucky to have had so many people on twitter message me with their support and advice - I'm so grateful for every single message!  Thank you all.  

Here we go again.....

Result: First Class Honours

I thought I should announce that after 3 years of hard work, I have the best result I could have possibly hoped for - First Class Honours.  To say that I am over the moon would be an understatement.  I'm absolutely thrilled.  

My final exam was also a first which means that my lowest mark for all of my third year was 2 marks off a first, the rest were all firsts! I never imagined it would go as well as it did and I feel really enthused and excited about moving onto my MSc in September (which has also since been confirmed as unconditional).  I have my voluntary work in the new location lined up ready to start in the summer.  The house is on the market, all in all everything is slowly slipping into place.  I feel very lucky indeed. 

Graduation is soon, followed by the graduation ball which I'm really looking forward to and then a summer of UKCAT, GAMSAT awaits! As well as moving etc too. 

Sorry this is short and sweet, but I wanted to share my good news with those who have been kind enough to read my blog over the last three years! Onto the next chapter of it.

Dissertation work

I'm nearly at the end of my third and final year.  So far my marks have been really high this year, my lowest was just 2 marks off a first, I don't know whether my overall final grade will be, but either way I'm over the moon with how this year has gone.  Its been hard work, but I couldn't have asked for better marks.  I'm in the middle of writing my dissertation, I'm actually really enjoying it (mostly) although I have my days where I would rather be doing almost anything else (as I'm sure most people do), overall I'm finding it really interesting and I definitely picked the right topic.  

Then I have my two final exams.  I'm actually REALLY nervous about these, I haven't finished my dissertation so I'm not dedicating enough time to my revision yet, which is frustrating as there are a lot of topics to cover.  I need to get my head in gear really and have my dissertation finished by the beginning of next month so I can plough head first into my revision. I think I am also overthinking my dissertation a little, perhaps I need to concentrate more on writing words on the page rather than making sure everything I write is absolutely perfect.  This is the largest piece of work I've ever done and I think it is good practice for my MSc, hopefully it will go well and I will get a good mark.  

Other than that I can't really think of anything to report, getting the house ready to sell still, we've planned where we're going to be living and my other half is getting ready to become and Undergraduate at the same uni I'm going to be doing my MSc.  Overall everything is slowly slipping into place (fingers crossed!). 

Hope everything is going well for everyone in their final year (and every other year of course), not long to go now! 

Happy New Year

First of all, Happy New Year! I hope that 2013 brings you all what you are dreaming of!  I've had some good news to start the year, I've been offered a place on my first choice MSc course!  As I want to remain anonymous I'm not going to declare what course this is but I am so happy to have had an offer.  I've got to get a 2:1 in my BSc, but I'm confident that I should be able to do so, so fingers crossed I'll have a new start in September.  

I had previously been feeling pretty rubbish about not getting into medicine (or even applying this time around) but now I feel like this was definitely meant to be, I love the sound of the course and I believe it will really benefit my medicine application in the long run, be that for 2014 or even 2015 entry - I will keep trying until I get where I need to be.  For now I have exams coming up at the start of the new term essays, a dissertation and more exams standing between me and my MSc offer, but I'll get there. 

So for me, so far the start of 2013 has been a positive one, for that I am very grateful! 

Wishing you all a happy new year, and lots of luck for those with medical school interviews/postgraduate applications. 

More to life

So I've been revising (almost) constantly lately.  We've had a few lovely "date nights" as we call them, we have another tonight, a mid-week one to break up the stress of work/essays/revision etc which will be lovely.  However, I was procrastinating earlier and came across a blog that I once read from start to finish (and sobbed, literally sobbed) the whole way through.  In a nutshell, the blog was written by someone who married a young lady who battled with cancer for 5 years, but sadly lost her fight in 2011.  It is about their life together during their fight and there is another blog attached describing life as a widow.  It breaks my heard as the age gap is the same as the gap between my other half and I.  We always feel so lucky to have met each other when we're still young, but this blog serves as a cruel reminder that youth does not mean longevity.  

It got me thinking about how I would cope if I was to become a medic and I was faced with a young couple in a similar situation to the couple in the blog.  I concluded that I would probably go home and cry, lots and lots.  I can't imagine that I'm the kind of person where death would not affect me over time, I think no matter how long I was lucky enough to practice medicine I would still hurt every time, I would probably just become more experienced in processing the emotions.

This young couple went through so much together, I would be beyond devastated if that happened to me and my other half.  It is not just what they have already shared that is lost, but also the loss of the promise of forever.  (Did I forget to mention that I'm a hopeless romantic).  I think that when we get caught up in the whole revision and work malarky, we forget what is most important in life, the little things that may not change the world, but will always stay with you.  So when I'm sitting here in meltdown mode over my exams, I think I'll try my hardest (and it will be hard) to remember that there really is so much more to life than a perfect grade.  

Little deep for a Wednesday perhaps, but I thought I'd share what I've been thinking.  Now I'm going back to revising about the joys of thrombosis in pregnancy.  Have a lovely day everyone, make the most of it.  

April Already

This year is flying by, in fact the last three years have flown by.  Three years ago I moved in with my better half, since then we've bought a house, been to the Maldives, got married and I've (almost) finished two years of my BSc. It literally feels like yesterday that I applied to study for my BSc and applying to med school was a distant ambition, now it is a very real, current, task.  I had an email from my course director last week saying we need to start thinking about our dissertation topics through the summer, which will make me a 3rd year!!

Whilst lots of exciting things have happened, I've also had some negative things, I've injured myself and been rather poorly (as you may have read at the start of the year).  I'm still not 100% better, but I'm 100% better than I was on the 1st January this year.  However, we were watching "Hospital Sydney" last night and there was a man on there with multiple brain tumours having surgery to stop him from being paralysed for the last few months of his life. He and his wife were so happy to find out that his prognosis was for 3-6 months rather than a couple of weeks and it just made me feel a little sad.  I was lying in bed watching this, and it made me think, yesterday was the 2nd April, on the 1st January I had a low pressure headache due to a pretty gnarly lumbar puncture and I was lying in bed doing exactly the same as I was last night (with added pain of course), 4 months ago, yet like everything else it feels like yesterday!  I lay there and couldn't help feeling sad that in the short space of time that has passed between me being so poorly and me getting back on my feet again, essentially the man on the TV would have exceeded the lower end of his life expectancy scale. 

I don't take my life for granted.  I'd love to go to medical school, but my life won't end if I can't.  I have so many wonderful things going on in my life for which I'm grateful for everyday, but every now and then it amazes me just how fast it all goes by.  Life is a bit of "blink and you miss it" sometimes and I've noticed how many people don't appreciate how lucky we all are to be here.

Anyway, I'm just grateful for everyday I have and even when it is cloudy or rainy outside, or something doesn't go your way, remember it could always be worse.