Didn't quite make it

Firstly my apologies for going awol. After deciding to give medicine another go, things went upside down health wise which prompted me to rethink. But I'm back on track now, still trying to get into medical school. 

I am taking the UKCAT soon, however I am not anticipating a good score, I've been using online practice materials (not official ones yet they're for closer to exam day) and frustratingly my scores seem lower than the last time I attempted it. I still have some time so you never know. However, some may know I have children and they are in the middle of exams etc so it won't be the end of the world if I have to wait until 2017 despite how much I just want to get on with it now! 

I am going to be doing my A level Chemistry as a private student to broaden my options too and I am volunteering at the local hospital. Everything is ticking over slowly, I just don't seem to be getting anywhere! Stuck in eternal limbo between being a graduate and medical student. Still hoping I will make it, not being entirely sure if I am capable anymore, but still praying for my break. 

But yes, I'm still here. Still trying to balance my family and life commitments around trying to realise my ambitions! Hope you're all well! Sorry again for the absence - going to get this blog going again!!! <3 

UKCAT

So after not being well for the GAMSAT (again!) I was starting to lose hope of being able to apply for med school this year, but I decided to bite the bullet and take the UKCAT this week.

I was so scared, I literally was feeling petrified! Had to take two trains to get there and then walk for about 20 mins to find the centre, when I got there it wasn't open as they were closed for lunch so I spent ages praying I was in the right place surrounded by people who were incredibly calm waiting to go for their driving theory tests. So after getting all signed in I sat down and took a few deep breaths for a moment and then started the test!  I found the VR section rather stressful and the QR section incredibly stressful, in fact I didn't manage to put anything at all for the last question as I ran out of time and had to guess about 10 questions as I just wasn't quick enough!  Abstract reasoning started to make me feel slightly better about it all as to be honest after QR I was starting to feel a little hopeless, and DA went really well.  The SJT was completely fine and about 30 questions from the end of the section I started to really look forward to the whole thing being over...and then panicked that I wouldn't have done very well in it.

I finally finished and went to collect my stuff from the locker whilst waiting for the results. My heart was pounding and I was over the moon when I saw I had 710 overall and SJT band 1!

I was thrilled as I genuinely was just praying for 650 so as you can imagine I feel very very lucky.  Now comes the hard part....choosing where to apply and writing my personal statement (I didn't want to start it before I took the UKCAT as I felt as if I was jinxing myself).  So here we go....fingers crossed my luck continues!

Been here a month already!

So time really does fly!  We've been here a month already, we're still absolutely in love with it all, sofa arrived and we have new bookcases being delivered in the morning (after a 3 week wait grr!).  It really feels like home now and we can't believe we didn't move years ago! 

So what have I been up to?  Mainly trying to figure out the UKCAT, I'm not too bad at it, but unfortunately I'm just not quite speedy enough which is very frustrating but I'm a lot calmer about it than last year.  I'm concerned that its going to be the QR and AR which will be my stumbling blocks, but I'm trying to get my head around them!  Time will tell.  

  I'm taking the GAMSAT next week, however I haven't prepared enough for section 3 for it to be a successful attempt, I'm hoping it will give me a good idea of where I'm lacking in knowledge ready for March though (for 2015 entry if I'm unsuccessful this year).  Just started redrafting my personal statement too which shouldn't take too long at least.  

I'll be happy once my GAMSAT is over and my UKCAT the following week too!  I'm rather dreading them both if I'm honest, I don't have a lot of confidence in them but we shall see!  In the interim, I'm trying to enjoy what is left of the summer, I have a feeling the next 12 months are going to be very busy indeed! 

Not as straightforward as it seemed

If you've been following my blog at all then you'll be aware that I'm not going to medical school next year.  I was pretty annoyed about the UKCAT, but I dealt with that and started looking at Postgraduate plans.  However, what I didn't account for is my friends applying for medicine this year, although I don't think some of them meet the cutoffs for the Universities they've applied for, I'm still finding it pretty tough the idea of them all starting their medicine journeys in 2013 and me being left behind.  This isn't the first time this is happening for me, I chose not to go into medicine straight from school and due to my age I'm now seeing my friends become specialists whereas I'm still trying to get my foot in the door.  I don't regret the path I've taken, I think now is the right time for me to consider medicine and I'm grateful I have other life experience behind me and I think it will stand me in good stead with appreciating just how lucky I would be to have a career in medicine.  I'm not doubting that medicine is a really difficult career, I can tell that just from my work experience placements, but the benefits certainly seem to outweigh the negatives and I think some of my friends who are my age don't appreciate it in the same way I will if I finally get there.

So onto my new plan A, my Masters.  What I didn't factor into the equation is that my other half is also planning on becoming a full time student next year, which sounds great, we've chosen locations which mean that I can apply for medicine the year after etc, but we forgot one key issue....money.  I won't be getting any funding for a taught masters, and nor will I be getting a maintenance loan for the year.  So not only will I be spending the few months applying for masters degrees, selling our house and hopefully finding somewhere really nice to live, we'll also be looking for part time jobs for both of us once we've moved! We hadn't planned on having to work part time whilst we studied and it is very very likely that I'm going to be having my ankle surgery during my summer break after I graduate so I'm really hoping that will be fixed before I start my course and job.  

I've planned for 3 years for what would happen at the end of it, and although my plan A/B is a perfectly good plan B, deep down it wasn't what I was hoping would happen I don't think. I'm sort of sad coming to terms with the whole waiting at least another year to start medicine.  However, I need to tell myself to stop moping and to get on with my uni work and GAMSAT revision ready for March!  I'm reading lots, but it doesn't feel like my "work mode" has truly kicked back in since I messed up the UKCAT!  I'll snap out of it, everyone has to fail something in their life I guess, its just never happened to me before - silly I know.  I just really really want a future in medicine, I won't give up, but I am still sulking a little bit I'm afraid to admit!  

Anyway, I'm going to get on with some uni work and write my personal statement for my MSc application!  Onwards and upwards as they say!

April Cinema

I spent the day with my other half today, working this morning and then we popped to the cinema to see 'The Cabin in the Woods'. 

We also saw 'The Hunger Games' last night, so I guess if you're a film fan this might help you choose between them (or encourage you to see one or neither of them, I'm not sure). Lets start with 'The Hunger Games'.  This was fantastic, I absolutely loved it, was mildly irritated by a couple of things, it is a little 'Hollywood' in some respects, but I really did enjoy it; I hear it is a trilogy so I'm really looking forward to seeing the next two movies!  Usually I read the books before the films come out, but I was really keen to enjoy this for what it was, I have seen the play and read the novel for 'The Woman in Black' and I spent the whole film trying to second guess what was coming next, I was also a little irritated by the fact that it was so different from the novel and so I decided I would read the book after seeing the film.  

Now onto 'The Cabin in The Woods'.  I should point out I'm quite a big film fan, I love horror, thriller type films, but I am a HUGE wuss, if I'm scared, I hide.  I hid for a relatively large part of this film.  If you watch the trailer, you would be forgiven for thinking that you're going to see a combination of 'Hostel' and 'The Hills Have Eyes', it is more than that, in some ways and in others not quite as graphic or tense. I really enjoyed it however; it frightened me, it was on quite a few different levels, literally, and had an ending I really didn't expect, but I perhaps would have altered the ending slightly again, but it was completely worth the ticket, which after seeing 'The Devil Inside Me' was a welcome relief.  (Do not waste your money on 'The Devil Inside Me', the film was finally getting going and then it ends, awful film, complete waste of money and time!)

Now I'm going to revise Osteoporosis, a bit of a change from watching scary movies, but necessary I believe if I want to pass my exams next month. If you have any films you think I should see, please feel free to let me know - I'm always happy to watch new films!